Dear Tumblr, here’s how I make Chocolate Chip Cookies - grams and centigrade version
- 1 cup (125g) Plain Flour
- 1/4 tsp Bicarbonate Soda
- 60g Unsalted Butter (softened)
- 1/3 cup (60g) brown sugar
- 1 large egg
- 1 tsp vanilla essence
- 3/4 cup (150g) choc chips (or more. probably more.)
Preheat Oven to 190C.
Line baking trays (2 average) with baking paper or spray it down with your favourite cooking oil.
You’ll need a large mixing bowl, a medium mixing bowl, a small glass or microwave safe bowl, a flour sifter, a 1 cup measure, a 1/3 cup measure, a 3/4 cup measure, a teaspoon measure, a kitchen scale, a whisk or beater and a wooden spoon.
Sift flour and bicarb soda into the large mixing bowl. Stir gently with the wooden spoon to mix.
Put butter into a microwave safe bowl and soften in the microwave for 10 seconds at a time until you can poke it and it feels like whipped cream.
Put the butter in the medium bowl and add the sugar. Beat the mixture with the beater or whisk until it’s smooth and creamy. Dip your finger into the mixture and check for poison. You may need to repeat this step a few times, just in case.
Add the egg and vanilla essence to the butter-sugar mixture. Beat it all together till it looks gooey and evenly combined. You probably don’t want to eat this bit raw.
Pour the liquid mixture into the dry and stir until no more flour sticks to the side and there isn’t any lumps. Add the choc chips, switch to the wooden spoon and stir until evenly dispersed.
Grab a little less than a golfball sized amount and taste for poison. Get another handfull of about the same amount and roll it beteween your hands until it’s pretty much a sphere.
Squish it gently onto your prepared tray and repeat until you have maybe 10-15 evenly spaced on each tray.
There should be a couple of cm space between them so when they spread, you don’t end up with a monster cookie… unless you want that.
Put the finished trays in the oven for 12-15 minutes (check them at 12 and if they aren’t paper-bag brown, put them in for another 3) and make sure to take them out before they burn.
If you have a wire rack, flip them gently onto one, but you can also let them cool on a tea towel or paper towel or a plate. Try to use a spatula rather than your hands as you’ll probably get burnt fingers and crumbled cookies. Ain’t nobody got time for dat.
Nom some while they’re still warm and store the rest in a tin or sealable plastic container. Stash it somewhere you can guard from interlopers.
HOW THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS IT SOMEHOW OK TO USE SOMEONE ELSE’S TOWEL TO MOP UP WATER FROM A LEAKY SHOWER?
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT? HOW COULD ANY SANE, MENTALLY STABLE PERSON THINK THAT WAS OK AND THAT THE OWNER OF THE TOWEL WOULD NOT BE INCREDIBLY UPSET AND ANGRY THAT THEIR TOWEL IS NOW FILTHY, COLD AND WET.
I LITERALLY JUST WASHED IT YESTERDAY AND I WALK INTO THE BATHROOM TO FIND MY PROPERTY IS BEING USED TO MOP UP DIRTY SHOWER WATER WHEN THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD BATHROOM MAT HANGING UP RIGHT NEXT TO IT? WHEN THERE ARE PAPER TOWELS IN THE KITCHEN, WHEN THERE ARE TEA TOWELS IN THE LINEN CUPBOARD? COULD THEY NOT HAVE AT LEAST ASKED FIRST, SO I COULD HAVE THE OPTION TO SAY “AWW FUCKING HELL NO”?
FUCKING ROOMMATE’S GIRLFRIEND MOOCHES OFF ROOMMATE, PAYS NO RENT OR BILLS WHATSOEVER, BREAKS BF AND MY PROPERTY, THEN HIDES IT AWAY IN A CUPBOARD WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, GOES INTO OUR ROOM WITHOUT PERMISSION TO BORROW A CANDLE WITHOUT PERMISSION, USES UP ALL THE INTERNET AND THEN ALL THE EXTRA INTERNET THAT BF WENT OUT OF HIS WAY TO GET, DOESN’T PAY FOR INTERNET, GOES THROUGH ROOMMATE’S PHONE AND READS HIS TEXTS, THEN HAS THE GALL TO ASK ME TO NOT TELL ROOMMATE THAT SHE DID IT AND NOW SHE FUCKING THINKS SHE CAN USE MY TOWEL TO MOP UP HER DIRTY SHOWER WATER?
I AM THE ABSOLUTE MADDEST I HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS.